Barbies don't love
by AthenaInAvalon
Summary: "I thought has never minded it. I believed that Barbie doll would always be a stupid. Until a Barbie stole from me the only man I loved. And he proved... What a stupid I was." TakuRan Yaoi!


**Barbies don't love**

_I was never the most beautiful._

_In fact, it mattered little to me for a long time._

_I ran in the rain and I smeared, without connecting to my hair completely disheveled and my feet full of cuts by running without any care._

_I just smile when people walked beside me and watched me. I smiled at the gray sky because it was the only one who understood me. I smiled at the flowers, even aware that my smile was not the prettiest._

_And I believed it would be. Only in this way. Until he shows up and change everything._

_You know, I do not look nothing like Barbie. In fact, she is totally contrary to my._ _She has waist too thin for any woman can look like her. But I know that with great difficulty, can either. _

_Barbie has blonde hair silky and so as the sunbeam. She is always smiling, to Ken or Kevin. She smiles even when using too short shorts in a doll house pink. An environment as a child for indecent clothes so... But Barbie is still the most beautiful dolls._ _And she represents all the standards of beauty that I do not own._

_However, I was happy it did not look like Barbie._ _I smiled to the right people. I did not wear short shorts, while acknowledging that he had reasonably nice legs. Seeing a Barbie, I just was sure not meet the ideals of beauty._

_I thought has never minded it. I believed that Barbie doll would always be a stupid. Until a Barbie stole from me the only man I loved. And he proved... What a stupid I was._

_It was not difficult to know who I was supporting role in this story._

_And even when I knew that there was no possibility of change. And I could not think of any utility that a minor might have._

_And I'm content to know that, though beautiful, Barbie didn't exist._

_She is a shadow cast by for men to disguise her. A mythical figure, consisting of makeup and clothes. _

_And she wasn't human. The Barbie doll was just a manipulation. She can be cruel or kind, depending on the command of its owner. She did not cry like I cried. She has no feelings as I have._

_I'm sensitive. I am a person of flesh, bone, and a loving heart. I cry with him if he was sad. I would laugh together with him when he was happy! But he prefers Barbie._

_Shindou prefers Akane._

_And I? Well... I continue in my role._

_I do not have bright eyes docile that girl._ _I even use the sweet perfume that she exhales. I do not know how to wiggle it or smile with white teeth so that any young man to approach._

_I'm simple. I prefer to keep my hair attached to leave to track the movements of my body. I'd rather walk with my jeans worn feel good than wear pants excessively clinging to the body that does not allow me to run for the bus. _

_And worse... I am a boy._

_But I know ... I'd trade it all to be Barbie he wanted._

"_Kirino-san!" The angry voice-sensei did the boy suddenly waking from sleep on school books._

"_Oh! Sorry, sir!"_ Said the boy, as he stood, gathering his books scribbled inside his backpack and left the classroom. All other students had gone to the range and Kirino, as always, was the last to leave.

The defender went fumbling crowded the halls of that school. Who knew greeted with a gracious smile, but at the same time, he watched the lot of cliques that formed, was always so. They look like they were made just for speaking ill of others in the group. They look like they were made just for speaking ill of others in groups.

He remained halting steps. He was in a hurry to get somewhere to be alone, just around the hall, found the last person who wanted to find: Shindou Takuto.

"_Damn it!"_ Muttered to himself as he crouched near the wall, staring at his back.

What irony of fate. Until "yesterday" was his best friend. As if by magic, overnight, nor spoke more. Well, since they began dating Akane have been. Kirino It suffered from a distance from each other. Kirino It suffered from the distance of Shindou. Suffered from the distance of him that said his best friend for years. One who said he never would break up.

He swallowed all your fear and approached more than another.

"_Shindou! We need to talk!"_ His blue eyes widened in surprise when you receive the look cold and distant from the captain. His legs trembled and he thought of retreat, but may never have another chance.

_You know another thing that differs from the Barbies?_

_I do not try to hurt myself._

_I only leave my house if I'm feeling comfortable with the clothes I was wearing. I do not like to be what I am not._ _It is a basic need in my life and I mean not only the appearance but the places I choose to leave._

_The only person who made me who I was did not want him._

_The night was boring. In Friday night and I couldn't see commitment better than to be playing Prince of Persia on the PlayStation 3. And it was incredibly disappointing, especially when I had already reset. I also tried to do the homework, but I remembered that slavery is to do duty on a Friday night. They also threw javelin, using my math book as a target, but nothing worked. Until I decided I would walk around the neighborhood_

_"A stroll in the neighborhood" was the worst ideas I could Tues. But at least it was better than my bed in my stuffy room. Moreover, the night was beautiful._ _As I sat on the bench of the many plazas of the city, I watched the full moon, so beautiful._ _It was this bank that Shindou Takuto emerged as a shadow of my hand._

"_What a coincidence." He said looking at me with those deep brown eyes and warm._

_I did not answer. To show how much I was upset with him. It the worst is that he did to provoke me. Knowing that I liked him, kissed the girl in front of me. All he did just made me open my eyes that fairy tales don't exist._

_But that intrigued me. What was he doing there? Friday night, usually for boys like him would come out with their girlfriends. In my reflections, I did not realize that the brown eyes rested on me again. _

_Embarrassed, I looked away to the side, so as to observe, without cause, a tree. I was not the least bit interested in the tree, but would not look in the eyes of Shindou._

"_You want a ride?" __The deep voice sounded again, so decided as I had never heard._

_I felt I should not go._

_I do not want to go._

"_We haven't anything to talk, Kirino."_ The brunette replied indifferently, as he turned, leaving the other totally devastated by his lack of education.

"_Shindou! Please!"_ Tried to prevent the smallest, but the captain was already down the hall, meeting up with his girlfriend. A kiss exchanged by lovers and the heart was the defender to smithereens.

He felt like crying, but crying in a place like that was not safe had many witnesses. He bit tongue to keep from collapsing in tears and turned away, running away from that place muffled as fast as he could before he did anything wrong.

The last box of the men's room was the most appropriate place. It was far from the rest of the boxes and did not make a sound so bad there; at least no one would listen. But that was what Kirino was less worried.

The tears fell for that innocent face, not caring that they were marking the skin white. Embraced to their legs, Kirino did not care to wrinkle all your laundry; it was if I could take that sadness of his weak heart.

Remembering the male face, perfectly shaped waves brown, saddened even more so defender, who could hardly bear that entire crossroads. Maybe because it was not so beautiful or charismatic as Akane. But he also had his qualities, while Shindou do not see, or else did not give a damn about it.

_I do not know what got into me. We do not exchange words and glances, we just... We walked the path that I do not know. Just feel my legs guiding me through a place that even I can understand._ _Just feel my legs guiding me through a place that even I can understand. Beside me, he walked. There was sorrow in his brown eyes and it hurt my heart._

_Shindou and I had much in common. I liked tomatoes like him; we both like classic rock, and like me he would rather read a good book to fall into the "night"._

_The truth is that I thought I had found the perfect man for me. Our activities when we are not training were theaters and orchestras._ _And I enjoyed, and he was sure too._ _When I found myself was in love for that "Prince Charming". The first reaction was more obviously, to take fright and fear that I was gay, although somehow I knew it from childhood. But I never told anyone yet, only for him._

_It was a cold winter morning._ _A deep snow covered the entire lawn this same square we're, remember me that we were coming home together as usual. This morning you were already far and talked of Akane, so I thought it best not to lose time and tell you about my feelings, after all, you were mature enough to understand, right?_

_Wrong. When I told him, although I had to be realistic, reigned within my heart a hope that you could meet me. But all you did was giving me a smile in the corner, turn and walk away, leaving me alone. And that was when started._

_And I was disappointed. I did not expect this from you. I confess I did not recognize my best friend. Shindou, after what we went through, as you have the courage to do this to me?_

_Then you moved away, farther each day, every day making me regret that I did not look like Barbie. Shindou, I could never imagine that you prefer looks or feelings. _

"_And how is life?" I freaked out and turned my head to look at you. Irony you ask this as if nothing had happened._

"_Fine…" Forced smiles and turned my body back to floor. I heard a sigh behind me, but I did not care, or pretended that I did not care._

_When we come to another square, cleaner than before and more colorful with the sakura petals that washed the floor of stone, you stopped. He sat on a bench in front of a lake full of carp in many different colors._ _Strange that I suddenly paused and sat down beside her, watching the carp moving, seemed desperate for a larger space._

After crying and discharges to muffle the noise, Kirino left the bathroom, with his backpack, his face was noticeably swollen.

Kirino, after apparent coldness with which he had faced, had a moment's hesitation. Wet your face with cold water and sipped. Only then left the bathroom, crossed with the history teacher, Kamishiro-sensei, who asked if he felt good because I was very pale.

"_So…" _Continued the teacher adjusting her glasses on a mechanical gesture._ "I noticed that his grades, at least in my area, go down, what's going on?"_

Kirino returned to normal at that. He should be browsing in another dimension. He gave a grim smile at the teacher.

"_Sorry, Kamishiro-sensei" _He spoke with a voice fault, marked by suffering recently. "_I've been a little distracting me from school."_

The teacher insisted:

"_Are you really okay? It seems that you were crying."_

"_I feel sick." _He lied, although he was really feeling bad, not physically but emotionally. "_Must be the stress, exam week and all."_

Kirino actually just wanted to get rid of the teacher. Little did he know it would be harder than him thought. When the quarterback turned to walk again, felt the icy hand of the woman to stop him from advancing.

"_So,_ _then ... Let I take you to the infirmary." _Kirino sighed and counted to really did not deserve it.

"_Sensei, I'll be fine_."

"_You have to rest." _Kamishiro-sensei was persistent and pulled her student to the infirmary, even grudgingly.

Maybe it was not so bad to spend the rest of the time in the infirmary, as Shindou was his classroom, he would not need to look for today.

_The silence was so intense that I could feel the sound of wind blowing between us and the carp that gave little jumping out of the lake and soon returned._

"_It is sad." The male deep voice startled me. I understood that he referred to the carp. "Your limit lake is small, and they cannot do anything."_

_There was sorrow in your tone. It shook my heart. I do not like to see anyone sad, especially him. My lips moved, and the words flowed effortlessly._

"_It is not sad." I disagreed with much care, still staring at the lake. "They have the option of skipping the lake and die."_

"_Not a good option." He retorted sarcastically. _

"_It is the only one they have, therefore, more worthy choices." I answered firmly, because something inside me says this. At that moment I knew we were not talking about the carp, but about life, our choices and options._

"_Death is never an option." Shindou spoke with a seriously sharp. I stared at him a long time, reading the pain that I did not know nuts in their spheres, watching him as vulnerable as any other man._

"_Death is the beginning of a new cycle." I said more to myself than to him. "Sometimes you need to leave something to die for something better emerge." _

_He looked at me and I looked at him. The first time we had an actual exchange of glances from the fateful day. It was also the first time, I smiled without being forced._

_I do not know if it was me, but the air grew warmer, especially when he started to approach me._ _Two fingers landed on my chin and gently lifted my head to stare at your eyes and I came over me, so close I could feel his breath mint against my face. I could not help my heart rate and blood go straight to my cheek. And he kept coming, clearly showing that he was going to kiss me._

_As if by instinct, I turned my face and took him away from his hand. As much as my heart wants, I will not get involved with a committed man, even the one who left me._

"_Well... Shall I take him home?" He asked trying to stifle one embarrassing moment. I could barely look at his face from shame._

_And I just nodded my head and got up._

"I need call your parents?" The nurse asked with a sweet voice. She always asks this, because I knew there were many students who went there just to get away from a class. And that was that Kirino was doing there.

"_You do not need" _Said without emotion. He was lying on a bed between the curtains of that place. He put his head on the pillow and closed her eyes, remembering a moment that could make it better. Failure. Everything in his life has been a failure.

He was only a secondary role. A role formed to have no utility. Just to fill the empty space. But it had no meaning. Because was not perfect.

**Perfect,** he thought. It was so Shindou saw Akane. But to Kirino, perfection - just like Barbie - did not exist. It was only a shadow of everything that people want for themselves.

That was what Akane represented?

A shadow without feelings, a tasteless material.

_You know another thing that Barbie has and I have not? _

_Well, I never know what to expect of my life. And Barbie is totally self-assured. She isn't afraid. She can be anything. 'Cause she is still a shadow of something undefined and impalpable._

_And she still had to choose clothes that prevented Shindou Takuto lose the charm for her that night. I am not, I need not hide behind clothes that cost horrors, since I was comfortable, I did not care that looked like. _

_When we reached the door of my house, I turned to go. But I couldn't. If I did not take that night that he talked to me normally, might I never have another chance. _

"_I wanted to know ..." I lowered my head, playing with his hands in an act nervous. "Which of Shindous is true?" He had understood what I had asked at least I think._ _However he did not answer. Only gave a weak smile and walked away, leaving me in doubt. _

_On Monday, it seems that everything came back "to normal"; he barely looked me in the face. His brown orbs were totally focused on Akane, literally my opposite. _

_So… Why he stayed with me that night? Why does it bother me? Why he tried to kiss me?_

_Is it just a mask? A joke that he decided makes to me; just increase my pain and helplessness? _

_No, Shindou was not so. Shindou not that I knew. Do not Shindou I fell in love._

And was there that it was over. After that day, Ranmaru tried desperately to talk even if it once did with his captain. However Shindou ignored the pink-haired boy. He decided it would no longer run after someone who did not want him.

It was easy to convince your brain that. Difficult, is to convince your heart that would not leave him in peace. He insisted hurt, to cry, beg for a little affection.

When the last bell rang, Kirino sighed with relief. However to his misfortune, a storm began to fall. He sighed. Well his mother warned him to take the umbrella.

"_But boy, you are __illness__. Cannot face the storm" _Said the nurse already suspicious of the "disease" of the defender.

"_I'm better, girl" _He smiled embarrassed to have cheated a woman so good that way. He grabbed his purse and ran off of there when he reached the locker to get his shoe leather, saw a familiar figure pass through it. He tried not to stare, but it was impossible.

Kirino was a boy.

A little shy and sad of eyes, but very wise was he.

A violent storm fell on the floor. Kirino looked at the gray sky and smiled. Because the sky to understand. Out in the rain, not caring that was totally drenched in minutes. The strands of his hair rebels were all standing, but he did not care what made him feel better.

When he passed through the square, he decided to stop to look at the lake full of carp. He was already wet; it would not make a difference. A series of questions and memories came to mind.

Close his eyes. I could feel someone approaching, the smell of Shindou dominated his nose and he smiled. Was he dreaming?

"_I know that probably will not want to talk after this time." _The defender opened his eyes and looked at his companion. "_But I thought seriously and need to talk to you._"

Swallowed hard. Was he making that joke with him again? Anyway, now who do not want to talk was Kirino. Nothing he said, his body just turned and started walking. But the strong hand grabbed the male before he turned more and move forward. In fright, Kirino screamed and slipped on the wet floor of stones, meeting a strong body and wet of Shindou, this in turn; held firmly the waistband of Kirino, so do not let him escape. Without waiting for the defender to recover from the shock, Shindou took his mouth in meeting those lips soft and pinkish.

Ranmaru's first reaction was shock, obviously. But because he could not escape, he decided to take advantage. His arms encircled the neck of the captain and he then closed his eyes. Leaving Shindou enjoy his mouth, he just followed his movements, due to be your first kiss. Shindou's mouth had a different taste, salty drops of the rain, but at the same time, it tasted like addiction.

After a few minutes, they had no choice but to separate. Kirino was totally stunned, but it was something he liked. But could not miss giving up; right now that he was recovering. He frowned and stared at Shindou.

"_What do you think you're doing?" _He tried to make the most of a firm voice, though she failed from time to time_. "Is so good play with me?"_

"_I'm not kidding you, listen me for a minute."_

Kirino's will was bipolar. He wanted to go home soon, but another part of him wanted to stay and hear what Shindou had to say. Finally, once sighed and looked at Shindou, as if to say to him speak.

"_My lake was small, Kirino. I felt no choice." _Instantly recall the carps and the sad eyes of Takuto. _"I went down, got to believe me."_

Could no longer keep the anger and let go. He understood what the captain meant. Being a popular boy has a reputation to maintain. So, could never be together, is like Romeo and Juliet.

Kirino wanted out of there, the conversation was definitely not doing well for him. But somehow, his legs told him to stay. Then the hands firm Shindou held his hands.

"_So I jumped out of the lake." _And pulling him, glued the bodies under the heavy rain. "_I chose you."_

His blue eyes widened in surprise. But there was no time for reactions, as the lips came together again in another kiss, but thirstier for the taste that the other had.

Panting, his fingers entwined in a romantic gesture.

"_And what is your choice, Kirino?"_

A genuine smile appeared on his lips.

"_I always chose you Shindou."_

_**The End.**_

_**So… That's it. Look… I'm so sorry for my bad English. I just do not live in any country English. I live in Japan. **_

_**So… Enjoy it!**_

_**Thanks for read!**_

_**And reviews, please. **_


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